Killer Thrillers

[howling wind] [howling dog] [howling wind and dog together] [plus a sprinkling of light rattling chains] Darkness falls across the land... Prince Humperdink: SKIP to the end! Oh. Ok. [ahem] The fowl-est stench is in the air... "Quack." The FUNK of forty thousand years! Give or take an eon. And Grizzly ghouls from EVERY tomb... Or maybe a Canadian Black Bear, eh? Are closing in...to seal your DOOM. Patriotically. And though you fight to stay alive... "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm missin'myarm, and whereismyface?" Your body starts to SHIVER. ...me timbers! (Or maybe that's Orlando Bloom. Hm? LADIES?) For no MERE MORTAL can resist... Baby Cthulhu! Or... ... David Caruso riding a unicorn under a double rainbow! The EVIL... (Oh. Or that) ...of... THE GRILLER. MUAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! AHA... Wait. Is that supposed to be steak? Ew.